The Blog Strikes Back

A busy three months it’s been. I’ve had countless remarkable adventures since last I posted, each noteworthy in its own right. I got over what Johnny did. But not what’s happened with Vinatieri or McGinest. I soured on Mike Lowell and was pleasantly surprised by Ryan Gomes. I crossed blades with my Man of Meung and destroyed The Ring. I battled sharks with the Old Man and gave a Speech At The Stone. I was involved in a case of mistaken identity. I laughed out loud at “You know what else really grinds my gears? That these aren’t the droids I’m looking for.” I embraced “a skinny kid with a funny name” and have followed his career hence. I stole my daddy’s cue and made a living out of playing pool. I fell in love with Penny Lane and learned The Ropes from Spanish Fly. I did a radio broadcast with Handsome Dan and Mr. Scream. I rode headfirst into a hurricane and disappeared into a point. I was ship steward on the Covenant, first mate on the Stugots, and Captain of the Black Pearl; if only for a short while. I rode cross country with Dean Moriarty. Again and again. I practiced Robin Hood’s version of trickle down economics (rob from the rich to give to the poor). I served with the Shoe Police. I salvaged a roll of priceless toilet paper from the Titanic. But, like Jay Peterman’s cake, nothing so valuable can be preserved forever. Ahem. I still haven’t graduated, though I did become a gladiator who defied an emperor. I wound up wounded and not even dead.

And like that, he was gone.